I need the rain to fall this evening! Just for about 30 minutes, it’s all I’m asking for. Please beautiful rain, I need you to save me from climbing that wall tonight! That’s what I kept telling the sky to do.

The sound of thunder put a smile on my face. But it sounded so far away, but at least there was a hope. The sky was quiet dark with thick black clouds. Yes, it’s coming!

I knew I was being a coward again, well very lazy to be exact, but I didn’t stop myself from getting ready. The shoes and everything else  needed for the climbing were ready. I still had to go to get something to eat but I needed the rain to fall. So I didn’t have to climb! Deep down inside, I felt relief because I still have some fear.

It is an outdoor climbing with two walls, at a sport center which is not that far away from my place, I could just walk for 20 minutes to go there.  I always try to arrive at least an hour before the schedule so I still could have something to eat and read before the climbing starts at 7 pm. I try to climb twice a week every Wednesday and Sunday, while on every other day I spend my evening at the gym.

Getting off from the bus, I could feel the rain falling down, drizzling. I wished that it would stay like that for a while so the walls would be too slippery to climb on! But still I walk in to the building, to a restaurant. I chose a table with a direct view to the walls.

While enjoying my first meal of the day, I could see someone was climbing. Gosh, she is climbing all the way to the top! And she’s enjoying her time hanging on the rope with her feet off the rocks. That scene made me nervous. My hands were cold and sweating. It was my first time climbing again after two weeks off. It wasn’t my choice, but the trainers had a championship in Kalimantan.

I still had time to read after finishing my meal. This time, I’ve been reading The Fifth Mountain by Paulo Coelho. It’s the second work of him that I read. And the eleventh book that I read in a month! Reading is now very addictive to me lately.

Climbing is also a new thing to me. I finally did it after 15 years! On my first day at the senior high school in Bandung, the climbers club was holding an orientation, but I didn’t have enough courage to try. Back then, it required more than just being a climber to climb the wall, but you had to join the adventurers club with survival training et cetera. So I did not join in. Actually I was more interested in a pair of shoes that someone uses when he’s climbing! To cut the story short, the shoes were not belonged to the guy who wore them. But then I actually also had a crush with the owner although then he told me not to climb!

Then back in Jakarta a few years later, I saw a climbing wall at a shopping mall in the south of Jakarta. But again, I didn’t do anything, just observing the climbers doing their training. Just a few days before the 2010 new year’s eve, I finally took that step. I talked to the man who was holding the rope and told him that I wanted to join his club. He said just come anytime for US$ 5 per two hours. So that was it, then I set a schedule to have my first climb in my life a week after.

I felt so excited. It’s just exactly what I feel every time I am about to do something new. I got that feeling again, that adrenaline rush. It’s just something I have to do. To find out my own limits. Life is just too short and I’m not getting younger. Oh, how I’ve wasted so much time in my life because I just gave in to my fear.

Just like reading, doing sport is also addictive. I started joining a gym more than two years ago. My reasons were quiet simple: to spend my time and to get a slimmer body before my wedding. Now, I’m still doing it for both reasons, but I don’t care about the wedding anymore because I don’t have a boyfriend. So I’ve taken Yoga, Pilates, Body Balance and Tai Chi classes. Just started Capoeira and Body Vive a week ago.

I think I’m a narcissist when I’m in the gym. I don’t have a perfect body yet. Still have lots of fat to burn on my belly and 7 more kilo to lose. But being there gives me a good feeling and definitely makes me look more sexier. I always enjoy watching myself in the mirror, wearing the gym outfit which shows my long legs and cute ass. Being sweating through exercising or spending time in the sauna is something I always look forward too. I am a narcissist! 

I believe I am kind of hyper-active too for doing the calmest sport, Tai Chi to the one which always gives me bruises and scars. And I love them all. My colleague said that the reason that I’m a hyper-active is because I don’t have a boyfriend, so I need to do something or a lot of things to use my power and burn the energy. At first, I thought It was true, but then, hey, no, that’s not the reason I’m doing those things. It’s because now I finally happy and know how to love myself and I am convinced that I can do whatever I want to do. I am not sabotaging myself again from doing or achieving anything. And I absolutely have no regrets at all.

So, anyway, I know I’m still lazy and I could always find good reasons not to do stuff, but I also know that I am the only person that I can lean on. I am the only one who can help myself, because based on my experience, even family and best friends are sometimes so hard to find during my hardest time (and they don’t remember me during their happy times).

Doing all those sports helps me realize how much I can achieve if I just don’t surrender when dealing with the pain and especially myself. The devil is always yourself. That little voice in your head is what makes you weak or strong. 

Every time I’ve reach a certain height, that voice always tells me to give up. Oh, the hands are just too tired. Oh, It’s just too slippery, you might lose your grip. Oh, the right leg just doesn’t have enough power to jump. Oh, the nails are just too long, you can’t put your fingers on the right spot! And you know what, I do listen to that crazy voice! Arrgh! I hate myself so much for that! It’s not the wall or all those little things that keeps me away from reaching the top, but it’s myself! I know it’s only my mind telling myself to give up. I am my own enemy!

But I always enjoy it every time I got new bruises and scars. They make me feel so cool! And seeing the world, well the ground below me from high above gives me a different perspective about everything. I can climb that high, I’m still climbing and I know I can do anything I want.

Hope the things that I’ve written above doesn’t scare anyone. Because I know that some men would feel a bit intimidated by it. But I guess I shouldnt care about those men at all. If they couldn’t take it, then they are not the type of men I’ve been looking for.

Speaking of men, I think I have to give you guys one of few good reasons why you should (not) put a female climber (me) on your list. A colleague forwarded me a blog about why everyone should date a climber. I am not a real climber yet, I just had my fifth session but I climb faster and take only short breaks now. Anyway, this guy, Shaun Fink was browsing Facebook and a group about dating climbers, so he shared it in his blog. And I agreed with him, that it’s funny and very true. I edited it a little bit, but enjoy!

Why Everyone Should Date A Climber!

01) we use protection
02) we are flexible
03) we keep going when it hurts
04) we like it on top
05) we will grab them big or small
06) we take it in every position
07) we don’t mind getting dirty!
08) we like it hard
09) we have perfect technique
10) We grunt when the action heats up
11) We are good with our hands
12) we know how to use our hips
13) not scared to do it for an audience
14) We don’t quit
15) We aren’t scared of anything
16) We move anyways you want us to
17) We like tight clothing / almost no clothing
18) We like making people scream and yell
19) we have good technique even when tired
20) we have amazing bodies
21) we have big jugs
22) (for girls) even your slopers are always firm
23) we’re cool with fist jams
24) we think friction is a good thing
25) our average rope is 50 meters long
26) our girls are like ‘biners….they don’t get mad if you don’t kiss them after you finish
27) We’re used to being overhung
28) experts at stabbing pockets
29) fist jams…yeah, we invented those used to juggling nuts
30) always end up going down
31) know how to rest then go at it again
32) don’t mind doing it against a wall
33) we always top out
34) we have huge racks…
35) we love wet cracks…
36) we swap leads…
37) We know a knot for every situation
38) We already own harnesses and rope
39) When our hands are busy we use our mouths
40) We are okay with having more than one partner
41) We make sure everyone we are with gets on top
42) We never stop before the climax
43) Oh, and we are great at sex.