I may be thirty, but I’ll always be flirty

Outside, the girls, my housemates were chatting loudly. They do that all the time, hanging around in the kitchen until late night. This time, they were celebrating the birthday of one of girls. A chocolate cake was served on the table. I had a slice myself. I arrived home when they were cutting it. I wondered if I have to buy them a cake for my birthday on Saturday as well.

I am not that close with anyone here. I do not want to make friends. Not too close. I stay in my room and only go out to take a shower or go to office. I need my own space since I do not have anywhere else to go or stay except this small room. The fan is on all the time since there is no fresh air flowing in from the window. Neither I have the sunlight.  I do not have TV, but since my room is next to the living room and they always turn it out loud, so yes, I could hear all the bad soap operas, game shows. But I never watch them. And they do not watch any news programs either except for the celebrity gossips.

My (bed) room is packed with all the belongings that I have left. Not that many and they are only few basic things that i really need. My life is so simple (is it?): get up, go to work, do things after work, go home, take a shower, spend time online then go to sleep. I am a loner, I like to be alone. But i do not like feeling alone. No one does.

It is so messy, exactly just like my life. I never had the will to tidy it up because I keep feeling that I will not be staying here for too long. I am only transiting. But where to? Living and moving from one place to another helps me to make choices. I learned to choose which is important and which one is not. And a human actually does not need that much to survive.

I have managed to survive so far, especially during the last two difficult years. When I feel things are just to much for me then it always cross my mind just surrender. I never expect that much from life either. What else do I have left when the only family I have left stabbed me in the back? (I do love you, Mom, but I have had enough!). Gosh, the pain is still there.

And love, is there something as such?

Sometimes I feel like a fake every time I see myself smiling with that big smile on my face. I was smiling, I am. But I guess I could fake it easily. My smile was not like that before. That big smile I have was created during my initial training as a flight attendant . The trainer asked us to smile in front of the other student; with lips closed or a grin. That other student said that I look better with the big grin on my face. So I started to draw back the lips and reveal the teeth. I do look much better. I had my perfect picture taken with the perfect hair, make up and of course the perfect smile for my flight attendant ID card. I love that picture so much, I even told the HR people that the card was lost so I could keep it when my contract was over. So, I believe as long as I could put that perfect smile on my face, people would not need to know how I really feel deep down inside.

Other thing that I have been faking ridiculously is the way I walk every time I am passing that handsome colleague of mine at the office. I know that I will walk awkwardly and get so many butterflies in my stomach every time I see his face when entering the room.  I try so hard not to notice him and desperately hope that there is something much more interesting  than him at the end of the room. But there is none! The sad part is that he does not even notice or talk to me! (I think it is because he knows that he would not be able to resist me!). My eyes are so well trained to spot those good looking men! And having a crush on is what keeps me alive. I just realize that it is actually my pain killer. I like being flirty!

Life is… I do not know. I thought I was happy. I thought I knew what I want already. But maybe I am. Maybe I do. Perhaps I just do not understand everything yet. But I have come this far. Not rich yet, still homeless, and found no love yet, but I think my life is just fine. Looking back, my life has been so colorful with experience. Thirty years is a long time already. I do not know where I am going to, but I am sure that I will get there someday. Somehow.

Thirty years.  I have been the person I wanted to be, I think. I have found good friends to replace my family. I have found so many homes when I am homeless. I have my experiences to help me survive. But still I do not have enough of them yet. And I can be only me. No body else I would rather be.

Thirty years. I am thanking my good friends and those who have helped and supported me. Those I still remember and those I have forgotten. The new and old ones. Thank you! I hope to keep our friendships for another thirty years ahead.

30 years…I have no regrets at all and I’ll always be flirty

Jakarta, 23h15m left to my birthday.

* Quote by Dane Peddigrew

the observer

A black van full of backpackers was just arriving. I could hear the Dangdut music was being played there. It was stopping in front of that cheap hostel on Jalan Jaksa. It’s the same hostel where my Irish friend, Shane was staying during his visit in Jakarta. I was walking closer to the van and I could see that the licence number doesn’t belong to the city. My tiny rented room is just opposite the hostel but the van was blocking this narrow street. I could see that there was a motorbike waiting to go to the other side if the street.

One by one the backpackers were getting off the van. They were speaking in French. Male, female and I saw probably a Chinese girl in the group too. I could have said something to them in French, but didn’t have the courage to speak the language I had learned for more than four years.

Gosh, my Dutch is messing up with my French! As my English always comes up every time I try to speak in French. While French always interferes when I speak Japanese! My friend told me those things happen because all those foreign languages I learned during my adulthood are being stored in only one side of the brain, the left side if I remember it correctly. While the mother tongue stays in the other part of the brain.

By the way, as I was trying to open the pad lock, I still could hear them talking and looking a bit confused. Yeah, I know, I don’t really like arriving in a new place in the evening either. I can’t recognize the surrounding because everything is dark and it limits your options and awareness.

I remember my experience in Athens very well. The huge cruise ship, the Minoan was arriving in Patra at about 8.30 in the evening. I had to continue my trip to Athens but I didn’t make any hotel bookings at all. So I didn’t really know where to go actually. They said that I had to take a bus from the port to Athens. And the bus stop was just about 10 minutes walk. So I dragged my suitcase and my heavy backpack there. Along the way, I saw few of the cruise attendants were already on their way home.

By the way, they’re not that nice at all. Few things were missing from their service: smile and being helpful. I was the one who had to carry the heavy suitcase of my old Italian roommate, Pietra, down stairs. No downward escalator that goes to the passenger exit. Pietra actually had asked few attendants to help her, but they just turned their head around.

I shared the cabin with her and a family. A mother and their two daughters. I assumed that they’re a family and Pietra told me that they must be from Bulgaria or somewhere nearby. Physically they were beautiful but weird and not nice to each other . The only nice one was the youngest daughter. We even tried to have a conversation. She was speaking in her own language and I was talking in English! We didn’t understand each other of course, but she smiled when I was smiling at her. So there you go, we actually have an international language which is understood by any human race.

Pietra and I, spent time together during dinner. She spoke in Italian of course and I understood whatever she was saying but the funny thing was, I actually replied in Spanish! I had no idea why at that time, Spanish was the only language I could think of. I guess I had to thank Dora The Explorer for teaching me Spanish!

As a souvenir, I gave Pietra a long Batik scarf. And in return, she gave me a huge pear that she grew herself in her garden. As we’re waiting in the lobby, I noticed that some people were talking about me and they gave me that kind of not nice stare. I guess they had never seen any Asian before and therefore I must had been a Chinese. Well, I felt sorry for them because their knowledge was very limited.

So I walked to the bus stop, there were people waiting for the bus to go to Athens. I think I had only to pay for 18 Euros for an almost 3 hour ride from Patra to Athens. I had to wait for about 15 minutes until the bus was ready. It was a medium size bus and free sitting. So I chose to sit on the second row, right side of the aisle. Next to me was a woman, we didn’t talk much. I didn’t fell asleep, I was enjoying the ride. Getting closer to the city, I could see Parthenon from a far.

They said that Athens was at the last stop and I still didn’t know where to go. Found on the travel book that Lars gave me as a birthday present, few hotel in the Plaka area, just below the Parthenon. But didn’t make any bookings yet, I was only taking my chances.

It turned out that the bus stop was not in the centre of Athens at all. I had to take another bus or taxi to go to Plaka. Looking so confused, I asked a couple of lovers where to go. They said that I should take a taxi and it would only cost for about 7 Euros to go there. A taxi driver saw his prey and offered me a ride. I didn’t trust him at all because I saw him talking to the other drivers not in a very nice way. The taxi had a meter, but I didn’t know where he was taking me.

He spoke a little bit of English and tried to show me few interesting places along the way. The Parthenon looks so beautiful at night. I told him to go to any nearest cheap hotels from the Parthenon. So we arrived in Plaka and I ended up paying 20 Euros for the ride!

I had no idea at all which hotel I should go to. It’s already almost one pass midnight. So I just knocked at any hotels. The first one was already full. Then I got an unpleasant experience at the second one. The concierge was in the middle of a phone conversation, so I had to interrupt him in order to ask for a room. He said it’s full. Fine with me, so I walked myself out. But I couldn’t open the door. I asked him to help me with the door, but he just gave me a sign how I should open it. But I couldn’t d it so asked him again. Instead of helping me out with the door, he start yelling at me without even bother hanging up the phone. As I start yelling back at him, I finally managed to open the door. Wow, that was not something I expected from a famous city like Athens at all!

I got lucky at the fourth hotel. I don’t remember the name anymore. But the man was so nice, he even gave me a discount for such a big room. I think I only had to pay for 35 Euros a night, with a very nice breakfast.

So, let’s go back to the present. Those French backpackers. As I open the windows of my rented room, which is on the second floor, I could still saw them waiting outside the hostel. I think they didn’t make any booking in advance. But I still couldn’t figure out why they took a van with a non Jakarta’s licence number. Then they entered the hostel, while I was starting to write this blog.

Let me tell you a little about Jalan Jaksa. In English it means the Attorney Street. I don’t know why, need to do research on that. But all I know, the street is so famous for backpackers. Cheap hotels, cheap pubs and cheap hookers too. The street is situated in the centre of the city centre, right in the centre of Central Jakarta. On the next two blocks is the National Monument with real gold on top and its park is much bigger than the Eiffel Tower’s. And just opposite the monument, there the Presidential Palace is. All the important governmental offices and public places are nearby. You can just walk from the main train station Gambir to this street. And as for me, it takes only 10 minutes walk to go to the gym or about 10 bus ride to the office from the main avenue of General Sudirman.

For me Jalan Jaksa is such an interesting place. It only exists in its own world. It’s just like the Kemang area in the South Jakarta. Foreigners are everywhere all over the place. What I’ve noticed so far, that there are many people from some African countries and those from –Stan ones. I don’t know what they’re doing here, but it’s obviously not only for a short stay. Those from African countries always occupy one of the street food stalls in the evening. While those men from the –Stan countries, well, I always see them on my way to the office in the morning, waiting for something together in front of an office.

While the prostitutes, I see them sitting inside the pubs or sometimes on the street sides calling for the men to come closer. I once asked Shane when he was here: so, had any girls come to you yet? He said no. Good!

Ah Shane, I believe he’s in Melbourne now and been travelling for more than two and a half years now. He’s my roommate in Paris. He was on his way south, while I was on the way back to Sweden via the Netherlands and Denmark. I think it was the first time I saw a man can be so sexy with his hairy chest! And after more than two years he finally came to Jakarta! It was so good to see him again although he had only a short stay. But the sexiest roommate was the one in Amsterdam. I had a naked man as a roommate hehehe…

So, that’s how I got to live here in this tiny but expensive rented room. Not because of the naked roommate in Amsterdam, but it was because of Shane. When I walked him back to the hostel, I saw a signboard at this place saying rooms to rent. I didn’t even have a job back then, I was staying far away for free with a friend. So here I am. I have a job now and I can afford this place. And I am looking at the hostel where Shane used to stay. Where those French backpackers are staying now. It’s all connected. It’s all action and reaction. And there is a purpose and time for everything. For everyone. And I observe it all.

what i’ve seen so far

a beggar with a circus monkey who threw away the dime given by a passer by.
a beggar with a hired new born baby sleeping on a bridge.
a very vulgar transvestite dancing on the street.
sleepy faces on the way to work and exhausted ones on the way home.
scary faces in the dark waiting to do some crimes.
a woman with a mask. her make up doesn’t match the color of her skin at all.
people fighting just to get on and off the buses.
security check is just a formality.
when you have nothing, you need nothing and you can actually manage to live with the least that you have.
family is always nowhere to be found, and when they’re there, they are always the ones to give you the biggest problem in your life.
walking between a lot of people makes you feel like an ordinary person. you have to be special and different to get noticed.
loving what you do and doing what you love is not enough. you have to be the best in whatever you are doing too.
your life does not depend on your parents’ wishes.
you decide your own life and destiny, not someone else.

Mr. wRight

I thought I could sleep early tonight. But I forgot to turn off the computer and TV so I had to get up again. Instead of trying to fall asleep again, I watched a movie on TV. The Dawn of the Dead. Good film just like 28 Days Later. A modern time zombie with so much better special effect.

Then I watched Globe Trekker. Spending the sleepless night with Ian Wright. I just love this man. He’s just so hilarious, the way he acts, the way he talks. Such a fun adventurer. I envy him so much for around the world trekking he does. First time I saw him, I was curious about him right away. Who is this guy? He’s not that handsome to my standard, but absolutely so interesting and attractive. So crazy. So funny. He brings me back my laughter.

I was so sad and in pain. Everyday was getting harder and harder. But with help from my friends, I’m finally back on my track again. I think. As for myself, I finally managed to at least trying to get over it. Step by step. It’s hard. It takes time. Because love, as my friend Christian once said,  love is not a light bulb that goes on and off and on and off. And I shouldn’t mistake intensity for true love. True big love is compassion. It is the slow hot fire, not an explosion.

I’ll be alright. I might still going to shed a tear. But I’ll get through this. Someday. Somehow. And no, I’m not alone. That’s what Robin always says. I’ve found true good friends who have been helping me with this. Those who are near. Those who are thousand miles away.

I might be back on chapter one again. Even probably I have to read the introduction of the book again. But maybe that’s it. I do need to understand more about this life. About love. So many broken hearts, so there could be something which is not right yet.

So, who is my Mr. Right? I don’t know when, how or where I’m going to meet him. But I’ll keep on searching. And it’s officially on again now!

Winger – Miles Away

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Will You?

I’ve been listening to Cat Steven’s songs lately. I only have a copy of An Other Cup album (2006), given from Lars. It was on our way from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur, in a KLM flight. He was on his way to India, and i was on my way home after a month trip in Europe.

Lars was right, the songs are so relaxing, so peaceful. Religious songs probably they are now, but love is universal. I  don’t know the singer that well, only some of his good songs. And this is what i like the most at the moment, it’s a love song to me. Waiting for that moment to say “I will”.

Heaven (Where True Love Goes)

The moment you walked inside my door
I knew that I need not look no more,
I’ve seen many other souls before – ah but,
Heaven must’ve programmed you

The moment you fell inside my dreams
I realized all I had not seen,
I’ve seen many other souls before – ah but,
Heaven must’ve programmed you.

Oh will you? Will you? Will you?
I go where True Love goes, I go where True Love goes
I go where True Love goes, I go where True Love goes

And if you walk along and if you lose your way,
Don’t forget the one who gave you this today

Follow True Love, follow True Love,
Follow True Love, follow True Love

Oh will you? Will you? Will you?
I go where True Love goes, I go where True Love goes
I go where True Love goes, I go where True Love goes

And if a storm should come and if you face away,
That may be the chance for you to be safe
And if you make it through the trouble and the pain,
That may be the time for you to know his name

The moment you walked inside my door
I knew that I need not look no more,
I’ve seen many other souls before – ah but,
Heaven must’ve programmed you

The moment you fell inside my dreams
I realized all I had not seen,
I’ve seen many other souls before – ah but,
Heaven must’ve programmed you.

The moment you said “I will”
I knew that this love was real,
And that my faith was seen – oh
Heaven must’ve programmed you

The moment I looked into your eyes
I knew that they told no lies,
There would be no good byes – Ah
’cause Heaven must’ve programmed you

I go where True Love goes, I go where True Love goes
I go where True Love goes, I go where True Love goes

ABBA – Take A Chance On Me

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Take a chance on me

I should have been sleeping by now, but I was writing this instead. There I was in my tiny shoebox sized rented room, feeling a little freshen up after watching the movie Mamma Mia. It was very entertaining.

I didn’t come for the movie itself actually, but I came to see Pierce Brosnan. He’s always been my favorite, from the time when he was young, playing the charming Remington Steel until now that he’s old. He’s still as gorgeous as always. But no, he can’t sing. Ok, he sings and I could imagine him being the young Steel again, but he surely kills the James Bond’s character in him! And he looks ridiculous wearing that ABBA style suit from the 70-ies. Although I like the hair on his chest so much. Sexy!

I planned to watch Mamma Mia weeks ago, but instead I watched Laskar Pelangi, an Indonesian movie about the struggle of 10 kids from poor families to finish their study at a poor elementary school. It is directed by my senior at the film school, Riri Riza.

Then a few days ago, Karel and Nicole, invited me to watch Laskar Pelangi together with some other friends. So we agreed to meet up at 8 pm for a dinner at the food court of Grand Indonesia, and then go to the movie at Blitz Megaplex. When I got there, Nicole, Rully and two Indonesian girls (I forgot their names) were already there. Then Karel came from the gym with Stacey, an American girl. After finding a table that was big enough for all of us, we started to order our dinner. Funny, we the Indonesian girls chose to have some Thai food. I had the Tom Yam Gong of course, while Nicole, a German preferred to have the traditional Indonesian food from East Java!

This up side down situation has always been funny to me. I remembered when I went to a fair with Cipta, a British-Indonesian boyfriend back then (by the way, were we ever officially lovers, Cipta?). we met some Indonesian and foreign friends. Cipta spoke in the Indonesian language with our foreign friends, while me on the other hand, spoke in English with our Indonesian friends! And just like that night when I chose to watch an American film, while my Dutch, German and American friends chose to watch an Indonesian film! What a world!

So I went to studio 8 and they’re in studio 1. There were less than20 persons watching Mamma Mia. Blitz Megaplex is a good place to watch a movie, expensive but it has a wider range selection of film compare to the other chained cinema in Indonesia, the 21 Cineplex. There were few things I dislike from Blitz though; the black walls in the rest rooms and the chairs. Feels like you were sitting in a space ship, not that comfortable.

Then the film was started with the song “I have a dream”. I could relate to the song, but not so much to the scene. The girl, as a silhouette was standing at a pier and the water was shimmering by the moon light as the background. First few scenes at the beginning of a film were something that you must not miss. All the information you need to understand and to solve all the problems in the film, will be found there. And you can always judge whether the film is good or bad just by watching the first 15 minutes of it.

Ok, so the scene must be very important to be put at the very beginning. But who’s the girl? Why is she singing that song? Why the title is Mamma Mia?

Well, few things cling in my mind every time I hear Mamma Mia. First, it’s Italian words. Second, it’s absolutely an ABBA song. Third, it reminds me of a pasta commercial on TV. But I also remembered that I’ve seen the Mamma Mia was being played in Brisbane, Australia. Every time I walked that bridge that connects the Queen Victoria Street and the West Bank, I always saw that giant banner with a picture of a surprised bride’s face and the text of Mamma Mia on it, was being hung outside the Art Center Building. So I was always wondering, was that the same Mamma Mia as the ABBA’s song?

If I was correct, the story was based on ABBA’s song and then played in Broadway. Then I also saw on the credit title that the producer of Mamma Mia the movie is Benny Andersson, who is the member of the band, the executive producers are Rita Wilson and her husband Tom Hanks. So, that’s the connection.

As I’ve said, the movie is very entertaining. I also could imagine that it was so much fun when making it. The dancing, the singing, the costumes and the beautiful sceneries of Greek islands. But I always feel that I would feel silly to act in one of those musical movies. Or even science fiction ones or in the films where they combine animation and live action. It takes a lot of imagination to act in something that is not real. It takes good actors to play the roles too. But they don’t always do it right, especially with the direction of the eyes. They couldn’t imagine well enough where the imaginary characters they’re playing with would be. You can tell right a way that it’s all a fake. Make believe. Oh, sometimes watching movies is not a fun thing to do, especially that you were taught to make them, so most of the time you end up analyzing instead of enjoying the movies.

There’s another thing which was a bit weird to me; why there was a Swedish flag on the ship? The owner, the first father lives somewhere in an Arabic country, and he sailed to Greece. The second father lives in Paris, and the last one, Pierce Brosnan lives in the States. Nothing can relate or can be used as a good reason to have a Swedish flag raised on a ship at all. Unless, it’s a message to remind the audience that somehow the movie is Swedish. That ABBA is Swedish.

Other Swedish things in the movie, which I’ve just realized a while ago; the girl and the mother are blond! I didn’t remember what is the color of eyes of the mother, but the girl surely has blue greyish eyes. Those colors are typically Swedish. Then also, I think it’s the name of the girl, that she’s Swedish.

Swedish, Sweden. I fell in love with the men and still in love with the country! I always feel at home everytime I’m in Sweden. I would learn Swedish language as soon as finish learning Dutch.

I stayed at the ABBA’s hotel as well everytime I was in Stockholm. Hotel Rival, at Mariatorget 3, in Södermalm is a really nice boutique hotel. The design is so Swedish; simple, modern and clean. Every room was designed uniquely, but you can always find a collection of ABBA’s CD and videos on the table, a very cute teddy bear and a bathroom with window! It’s a big turn on watching your partner taking a shower from the window while you laying naked on the cozy bed, don’t you think?! So sexy!

But I’ve never seen Benny Andersson or any other ABBA’s member there. I’ve once almost set a fire at the lobby, I had a crush on one of the receptionist (although I wasn’t sure that he’s straight), I enjoyed very much borrowing the DVDs from the hotel collection and absolutely took cups of very nice hot chocolate and cookies from the guest lounge. But I’ve never met him at all! Well, ok, I saw him at the end of the movie, as a cameo.

Anyway, back to the movie. I enjoyed watching Pierce Brosnan there, he’s old now but still hot. I enjoyed so much listening to the beautiful songs. How I wish I could sing along or maybe dance. I cried a little when the scene is showing that the mother is getting ready to let her daughter go. Such a beautiful relationship which I didn’t have with my Mom. Who will give me away on my wedding day? But I really liked the scene where the three fathers and the mother were at the pier waving goodbye to the daughter and her boyfriend, departing to travel around the world. Such a beautiful scene, with the silhouette and the moon light. I loved how those men were standing under the moon light. Then the first scene I saw at the very beginning of the movie, when the girl is singing appears again. so that’s the end of the story. It has made a complete circle; back to the beginning.

It must be very nice (and also weird) to have a song for every moment in your life. but I knew that songs help me getting through my life. I wish I could sing. I wish someone could sing to me.

Somewhere in the crowd there’s you…
Take a chance on me!

The Story of Stuff

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Salmonellae, Mosquitoes and Jesus

Another boring day at the hospital with the intravenous catheter in my vein. It’s so annoying when the medicines made you go to the toilet every hour. The doctor said that I have to stay for another day. He said I was positive for both dengue and typhoid. Physically I felt fine, no more red spots and my appetite was just fine. But maybe it’s the number of the white blood cells which was still below normal.

I had the fever for four days, then it’s just disappearing after the worst one ever. I had to change my clothes because I was sweating so much. The next day, there was no more fever, but I still had a severe headache and the red spots were appearing on my skin.

I still didn’t think that it was a dengue. I thought it was only the typhoid fever I always have every year. As for the red spots, well it’s probably just something I could get after being dehydrated during the fever. It’s not a fever for a flu for sure, because I didn’t get any. I didn’t have a runny nose or coughing either.

By the way, this is what I got from the internet www.medicinenet.com:

Typhoid Fever At A Glance

• Typhoid fever is caused by Salmonellae typhi bacteria.
• Typhoid fever is contracted by the ingestion of contaminated food or water.
• Diagnosis of typhoid fever is made when the Salmonella bacteria is detected with a stool culture.
• Typhoid fever is treated with antibiotics.
• Typhoid fever symptoms are poor appetite, headaches, generalized aches and pains, fever, and lethargy. People with typhoid fever usually have a sustained fever as high as 103 to 104 degrees Fahrenheit (39 to 40 degrees Celsius).
• Approximately 3%-5% of patients become carriers of the bacteria after the acute illness.

Dengue Fever

Dengue fever is a disease caused by a family of viruses that are transmitted by mosquitoes. It is an acute illness of sudden onset that usually follows a benign course with headache, fever, exhaustion, severe joint and muscle pain, swollen glands (lymphadenopathy) and rash. The presence (the “dengue triad”) of fever, rash, and headache (and other pains) is particularly characteristic of dengue.

Dengue (pronounced DENG-gay) strikes people with low levels of immunity. Because it is caused by one of four serotypes of virus, it is possible to get dengue fever multiple times. However, an attack of dengue produces immunity for a lifetime to that particular serotype to which the patient was exposed.

After being bitten by a mosquito carrying the virus, the incubation period ranges from three to 15 (usually five to eight) days before the signs and symptoms of dengue appear. Dengue starts with chills, headache, pain upon moving the eyes, and low backache. Painful aching in the legs and joints occurs during the first hours of illness. The temperature rises quickly as high as 104° F (40° C), with relative low heart rate (bradycardia) and low blood pressure (hypotension). The eyes become reddened. A flushing or pale pink rash comes over the face and then disappears. The glands (lymph nodes) in the neck and groin are often swollen.

Fever and other signs of dengue last for two to four days, followed by rapid drop in temperature (defervescence) with profuse sweating. This precedes a period with normal temperature and a sense of well-being that lasts about a day. A second rapid rise in temperature follows. A characteristic rash appears along with the fever and spreads from the extremities to cover the entire body except the face. The palms and soles may be bright red and swollen.

Another thing, most of us call Typhoid as Typhus. But those two names are definitely two different things as well. Here’s the explanation about Typhus:

Typhus: One of a group of acute infections caused by rickettsiae, transmitted by arthropods (lice, fleas, mites), and characterized by severe headache, chills, high fever, stupor, and a rash. The four main entities making up the group are epidemic typhus, its recrudescent form (Brill-Zinsser disease), murine typhus, and scrub typhus. Called also typhus fever. See also: Brill-Zinsser disease; Epidemic typhus; Murine typhus; Scrub typhus.

So being annoyed by the itch on my skin, actually it hurt a lot when someone or something touch my skin, I went to see a doctor. After a blood test, he said that I might have both the dengue and the typhoid. He wanted me to stay over at the hospital for a few days.

After asking for some advices from a friend, I decided to go to this catholic hospital. For me, choosing which hospital to go to was like choosing a hotel, which one gives better service for such a reasonable price. It’s a good thing that my insurance paid for everything.

The service was ok, but no TV and the bed was hard as a stone. I was sharing the room with three other women; one who vomits a lot, an old woman who complains so much and the other one was a new comer and still in a critical condition. They played the gospel and 80-ies songs for 12 hours a day, they did holy communion services and gave sermons too. I saw Jesus there. Although I feel so sorry for him, for being hung on a cross all the time. If he’s the God Almighty, why do they have to burden him with all the incapability and restriction of a mortal human?

I had my laptop, wireless internet and een cursus Nederlands voor anderstaligen book here with me. I could survive just fine. My mobile phone was busy with texting in and out with friends overseas. Few of my closest friends, Putri and Fergus came to visit me. They are always the first ones who come to the rescue. But I didn’t tell the other. I didn’t tell my family that I was being hospitalized either.

I had my reasons. Despite of the big fight I had with Mom, I didn’t want my family to find out anything about my condition. And aunty, Mom’s youngest sister was in a coma, and she passed away on Sunday morning. I didn’t want to give them more problems to think about. But the main reason was that I didn’t want to meet Mom at all.

Anyway, on the other hand, I was so blessed to have so many good friends. I sometimes smile to see how they actually care for me. Each of them have their own style trying to comfort me whenever I’m in need. Some are funny, some are romantic and some are actually very firm. Always love to get into any arguments with them, because we know it’s only going to make the friendships stronger.

Too bad they’re thousands miles away, but I can feel that they’re actually here with me.

I love you all, guys! Thank you!

And O, happy birthday to you!